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ReallySpiffyGirl
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Name: Angela
Country: United States
State: California
Gender: Female
Interests: Roller-coasters, mountain biking, rock-wall climbing, and making fun of janitors. That's about it.
Expertise: pancake art...long story.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/1/2004
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| This is a poem i read for English Lit class
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning IF THOU MUST LOVE ME - IF thou must love me, let it be for nought Except for love's sake only. Do not say "I love her for her smile- her look- her way Of speaking gently,- for a trick of thought That falls in well with mine, and certes brought A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"- For these things in themselves, Beloved, may Be changed, or change for thee,- and love, so wrought, May be unwrought so. Neither love me for Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,- A creature might forget to weep, who bore Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby! But love me for love's sake, that evermore Thou
mayst love on, through love's eternity. - -
This was my response
Love. Love is
unexplainable. It surpasses such simple temporary things as smile, or look, or
a “way of speaking gently.” Love. It is a statement far more pleasant and profound
than “a trick of thought that falls in well with mine.” And the woman with downcast eyes and the
liquid diamond on her cheek, why dose she weep? To keep her beloved close to
her? Or because she has lost him? Love. It is a powerful command that requires
eternity to accomplish.
Love. Love is
unexplainable. Love is one of those omnipresent everyday things that cannot be
proved by science or math. Yet there are many different formulas for different
types and levels of love. Love: the definition has been watered down by overuse,
but when it comes to love, Elisabeth Barret Browning knew exactly what kind of
love she wanted. She did not want a love based on temporary things. She wanted
a lasting love. A love that is exactly what live is suppose to be.
Unexplainable.
That’s what God’s
love is… unconditional and unexplainable.
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| I took my senior picture for the yearbook wearing a pirate hat, and the photographer asked me if i'd ever been to a pirate party. She was talking about one of those clubs where they dress up and drink on a boat and after she discovered that i was under the drinking age, she dismissed the subject. I've called myself a pirate for a couple years now, collected the perfect article for the costume, and gone out for holloween or whatnot, but the usual connotation of a pirate is not what i feel connects me to the name of a pirate. I don't dress up and talk like i pirate because i want to pillage and plunder, but i see a different parallel.
What is the one thing a pirate must have to be a true pirate?
a ship
The ship is what gives a pirate freedom, the thing they depend upon to get where they want and what they want.
God is my ship, i depend on Him for everything, and being part of His family sets me apart from the rest of the world. in the sea of life i must cling to Him in storms or calm weather.
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| Today , rather yesterday, was eventful.
Teen Fest. Wow! i was there representing Youth Alive as "president" and i see two Mormon missionaries walking by. one of them looked like one that i had talked to before so i ran over with Kayla and called them over. it was true. two men, the younger was the one i had previously met. feeling excited and slightly mischievous, i asked if they would like some free refreshments, knowing i was leading them into dangerous territory. Cliff even said that if he had been there he probably would have harassed them. nevertheless we explained what our part in the whoopla was as they sipped iced tea / lemonade. but soon they were of again, amusing us with the idea of returning later. they did return and the drilling session began. Many questions were deflected with half truth answers or feigned ignorance on the subject. And though the older missionary seem restless and short tempered, the younger continued to try to answer our accusing questions. Alas they had an appointment, but a phone number was exchanged with the small hope of contact with the younger missionary in the future.
We decided that next time we would forgo the dance of trying to figure out what the other believed with casual questioning . instead to lay out that no one was going to be able to convert the other and instead we might openly try to learn exactly what the other believed, to gain more knowledge of the other doctrine.
i await that day with great anticipation.
Later i discovered a budding relationship not meant to be discovered. but with a flurry of texting and prayer, i believe it is headed for a better course than previously conceived. i admire that young man's intentions.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God" Matthew 5:8
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| its strange... of all the things. i wonder if the dog understands, what happened. the other day my brother came home from college. the dog went crazy. and i wonder. how much more excitement would she be able to muster, if my father happened to return from his place in the courts of God and walk through that door.
strange things on TV upset mom. we were watching House, this medical series and the patient wakes up from being a button's push away from death. at the commercial i heard my mom whisper half to herself, "why didn't your dad wake up?" i was angry with her. "its a show, nothing that miraculous could happen in real life. why do you do that to yourself?" but i didn't say it allowed. I'm glad David didn't hear it. he would have chastised her. he's only been home a while. but the long term wounds are deep, he's had the luxury of forgetfulness.
here at home there is some reminder everyday of his absence.
if here were here, mom wouldn't have painted the boys room
if he were here, she wouldn't have painted the living room
if he were here, she wouldn't have gotten that new furnature
if he were here, she wouldn't have gotten those new curtains
... well, maybe.
but if he were here, she wouldn't have to sleep on the trundle bed in my room. 6 months now. she, did, a few weeks ago, sleep on top of the covers of her bed with blankets over her. but then David came home, and he sleeps on dad's side. so its back to my room she goes.
but i got his pillow. david got his bible. daniel got his ring. i got his prayer bracelet. i
found the stash of where he kept all the precious moments figures he would eventually give to mom. come mothers day i picked one out to give to her, a gift from the both of us. bad idea, we sat crying in a hotel room for 15 minutes.
i wanted to plant corn in the garden. i think its too late. but i don't know. i wouldn't know, i didn't pay any attention to those specific times. the garden should probably be rodatilled by now, but we've let the strange and bizarre wild flowers be the unexpected guests in our unprecedented garden party.
i can here his bellowing voice in the confines of my memory, specifically when he would be practicing for the Christmas play. he loved to sing for it. This last years was to be different, and he was given a role i knew he would be able to preform perfectly. I remember disbelief and utter disapproval in my mind when i realized they had the audacity to simply replace his role and go on with the production. the Christmas play should have been canceled. the world probably should have stopped turning. My father had died.
and i keep thinking in he back of my head, who will walk me down the isle on my wedding day? and now i think, i don't think i can get married because i won't ever be able to find a man like my dad, because that's where my standards are, and i can't lower them.
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| i drove to b-field today. 'twas scarry. we did a lot of shoppin and i got stuff for my brothers, and good deal on new kicks for myself. i got home and Kayla and Michael were there. i was in a bad mood. Michael got real mad at me. i didn't care.. then neither did he. Worship was good tonight. i wrote part of a song.
i wait for you , and You wait for me
I'm runing as free as free can be
into your golden sunset arms
away from fears and away from harm
ripples of thunder sing with the sea
i see your hand all around me
i set my eyes upon the vast sky
letting my worldly desires run dry
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